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Sure, I knew things had not been great between us, but I never thought she would leave! My partner of 7 year left me 10 weeks ago, She is 40 and i am 47 and she had an affair when with a guy i know who is 49 after her father died. He has been gone for about six months now. Scharnett-King warns this rarely works out. My ex-husband used me for everything I had and then just left. Im so sad and heartbroken and feel like I gave him my heart for nothing, wasted 26 years of my life. So, I have been married to my husband for 14 1/2 years. Didnt help.im so lost .i juat dont know what to do anymore.its just about killed me ive not gotten any better. I know he hurt you really badly and broke your heart, but that doesnt mean that he cant fix it. Any youths on how to cope welcome. I dont know how you rip it apart and then walk away like nothings wrong. 4. "I can't please you. Scharnett-King K. (2022). I later found out she moved into the house her male boss was selling. "It is the same thing, over and over with you.". Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. Trust me. Married 3 with a baby, also 3. The kids were emotional wreck thing of this, so I told lawyer I hired that we were muddy the waters and I will take the pfa so the kids dont have to go thru this. You can NOT continue to live this way, and I am so sorry you have been going through this. Also my ex husband stole 25k. I found that he had taken my key out of my purse for the car. I Think My Husband is Depressed - Can I Save My Marriage? I love all your comments. What can ido to ease her pain and stop from having a second divorce? 4. God bless you. I am dealing with being invited to his brothers for thanksgiving. It seems odd to me he does this before family outings almost as if he is looking for things and this has me wondering. I love my wife so badly that shes been my go to person for anything in my life. My husband of 20years has just told hes leaving me that hes not in love with me anymore and has been living a lie for the past year!! Christy, you just summed up my life since December. Hi Jon If you aske most people who leave their spouses if they are happy in their decision, if theyre being honest, most of them would say no. On Valentines day, she decided to tell me she doesnt love me and has in fact hated me for the last 15 years, though showed no signs of it. We were mature, grown ups We did that stuff and left that life long ago?? But I will not allow someone to make an inaccurate statement about people with personal disorders. I respect her decision, but there is a lot of envy there. Thanks, If she ever contacts you again say this, never talk to me again. And our fights now revolve around not having sex. I will relate it to what I experienced; maybe it will help someone else. Try to relinquish anger and resentment to create space for understanding and growth. They do not except criticism and will always turn it around on you to the extent they will talk your friends and family in to believing how crazy YOU are and how he/ she could never make you happy. My Husband Left Me! Let Him Go or Fight for Our Marriage? Over the Xmas period she started to become distant, but I put it primarily down to the fact that her grandad, who shes very close to, is now in a home with Alzheimers and it would be her first Xmas without him. There are other ways of finding things out, but that all depends on which boundaries you are willing to cross. Most men would be happy to have a wife who takes excellent care of their kids, worked many jobs, owns a business, masters degree, and cooks and cleans. No, Im not saying that you need to forget all that happened. I get my kids every weekend and the time always flies by. Theyre also communities where you can help other members solve their problems. Completely unaware of what had transpired I was thinking we really needed to talk. Hi, another in the same boat, was with my partner for 8 years, we had had a rough year as his hours were dropped to 3 days, then he got suspended, then sacked , secured him a job at where i work, his mum extremely ill and died recently, stuck with him through all this and then 2 months ago he literally stood up and said he didnt know what he wanted and went, phone contact for a while now zilch, nothing, have asked in a text as he not speaking ( so didnt want to mither) if were done yes or no ? You want to be loved? It took me about 6 months before I tried to get help and went to therapy. And that makes it hard to think about anything else. Soon, I reverted back to what I was doing to prior to the attempt to get pleasure. You may still love him but being gay is not a choice. She nonchalantly says I am going to stay with my step I said yes and by the way I filed for divorce. I think its midlife crisis. My partner of 7 years left after an argument over nothing 3 months ago and he is refusing to talk about anything. Its very sad but I want her happy. I have no clue what to do with my time now. My name is Jon,and a few weeks ago when my wife and i were celebrating our birthdays in Chicago,she told me that she was leaving me and moving to California to live with some guy she met on the internet.My wife sufers from Fibromyalgia,depression. I know Id feel better getting my stuff together lol. Write to Family Life, The Guardian . I dont have friends that I can confide in, I dont have family to talk to. I also found out she was picking up meds for patients . They might stop eating or eat more to dull the pain. Take care. Two more days pass and today she texts about me packing the house (I am going to lose it) and she is now not retuning until June 30th but not necessarily here as she insists upon a divorce. I am disabled and have unique issues that cause stroke like symptoms and memory issues. My wife did not return home from work last friday (now tuesday), my son nor i have heard from her since despite numerous texting, although she has told 2 other people she is ok, these people are strangers to me, I only found out via a third party. Heather omg I read your article you wrote and this is so real I honestly wish I had that support from you Im 26 years old with 2 kids and my life has been hurtful and heartbreaking within my relationship I dont want to drag a long story out but I recently got married in Jan and my husband just left me with no explanation in 2 months of our marriage but I have some proof on my end. And some families have one parent. You may recognise a similar situation She came home and during our talk she slipped and said she had slept in the same bed as him. Love is blind, but Im not so blind any more. Hope youre finding a healthy way to pass the time and keep it great for you. I just want her to call me & tell me its going to be ok but she is pressing ahead with this divorce in what seems nothing other than an irrational speed. I dont understand how someone can throw you out of your own house . Maybe I just feel in love with the author. Best wishes to you, hope you find a healthy way to consume your time and helps you start the process! Thank you for sharing. The last thing you want to do is spend it with a happily married couple or try to entertain your child while you meet your child-free friend for coffee and a chat. (more time is spent telling your child to sit down/stop that/behave). The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Paul thats interesting. Mind you although we have split up things have been amazing in the last 2 years compared to how things were before hand. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. No one warned me that the "change of life" meant that I would be at war with my own body . I was in the same situation. Instead of focusing on yourself, try to understand what is behind his decision. I sleep and eat baflt. I felt like I was wasting his time. We have more information about what to do in a crisis at https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. If your husband tries to make you happy in any way, big or small (and in my experience, he will), do your best to receive the gesture and convey your pleasure at his efforts. He refused to go to counseling. So, dont sabotage your happiness just because your husband left you, and contact these incredible coaches to receive personalized advice about your love life. You will overcome this! Its gotten really wild and way more frequent! Next day she goes to Illinois. Is Your Relationship Making You Sick? - Mental Help He wanted to book a holiday for me and my daughter( not his child bit they have become so close she shes him and loves him like s dad) and stay in the house with us pretend everything was fine and tell my daughter before we went away that we were splitting up and he would be gone when we got back,!! Say, "I apologize for being disrespectful when I". Needless to say, I reminded him of the timing he set up and we did not get married. My husband left me and I am wondering how you are feeling? God has the peace you seek. When you give yourself to a person completely then they just walk out of your life like nothing its so easy for them I feel depressed and dont know how to cope everything reminds me of him and its harder at night sleeping alone I saw this coming but still wasnt prepared enough. Things werent perfect between us for about a year, but after Christmas, I thought things had been going ok. We applied for a mortgage and it was in those weeks waiting for approval that he made the decision to leave, in early February 2017. We are now separated again but he is now living with another woman, same woman he dated for 4 months during our last seperstion. I froze that moment then 6 years later I was traumatized again. Can deficits in emotional intelligence explain the negative relationship between abandonment schema and marital quality? It is the hardest thing I ever been through. As soon as we arrived in our new location, he started acting weird again. He left me broke. So basically now I am with my 6 yr old no way of supporting anything he says he will help me a bit for a month. I have had 15 yrs of therapy along with institutional treatment, CBT, outpatient care thousands of AA Meetings and lots of retreats. Part of me thinks shes simply selfish and refuses to work out our problems. I just have to take the bruise to the heart hearing it and suck it up, thats what its been left to. When seen through anyone else's lens, she's beautiful. My now separated wife has called the police on me for suicide watch (ive never been suicidal) and also called childrens aid because I might be a physical danger to our son (the only hitting Ive ever done is on the hockey rink). Moffa, now 76, had been married 52 years, and . Now my husband wants me back. If he doesnt get a rise out of me, he becomes enraged and starts drama then tries to blame it on me. They may view the depression as an anchor that will take you both down. I just wish I could hit fast forward. I served honorably for 27 years in the Army, receiving the highest peacetime award for my service. So we come home and a week later she leaves again and stays gone almost two weeks. I believe it is due to her sickness as we were two peas in a pod for the last 19 years. He said he filed for divorce on April 14. Since he can just drop us like taking out the garbage. 4 months ago he started being very cold with me. See a priest. A girl who is blinded by love. It has now been some time since then and many conversations regarding the relationship not being one where we operated as a couple. 2. I hope u can sort your situation so you are not left rearing the kids by yourself. We were happy. Ive been with my wife over 12 years married over 2. Its going to cost me a fortune, but I have no choice. She didnt admit the affair part until this week. I have 2 ds and am left absolutely distraught. Then we blame. This has to be an affair right? Living is not living unless you are truly living, being respected and happy. Im being civil about it becuase of my son but it hurts everytime I see him. BTW. Its a long story between my ex and I, but basically he just left me one day because I wouldnt give him 20 dollars for gas, because I didnt have it, and I wouldnt let him use my car because I only had enough gas to get back and forth to work and didnt have any more money to put in my tank because I paid the bills, I dont know where his money went.